Thailand: Part 2

THAILAND (AGAIN)

14th Jan to 10th Feb 2019

CHIANG MAI

Of course, when I was planning all this travelling I didn't intend to come to Thailand twice. But my laziness and failure to get more than two hours away from Bangkok during my first month here means I want to compensate and actually see the north as well as the islands in the far-south, like I'd planned. You do obviously notice the differences when you first land in a new country but until now I hadn't the opportunity to re-assess any of them, so a flight from Hanoi over into Chiang Mai (northern Thailand) gave me that chance. Well accordingly, my first action was to walk across the airport car-park, sit down in a restaurant and order what I felt was as traditional as their food gets, in the form of a red curry. They cooked it with such intense spice that they'd might as well have shoved my face into a fire. Welcome back to Thailand.

I'd checked my bank account for the first time in a long while and calculated that I'd spent around £2,500 during my thirty days in Vietnam (my budget was £1,000). The biggest unnecessary expense has been staying in so many hotels rather than hostels. Looking at accommodation options for Chiang Mai, I could choose either a hostel for four nights at a total of £18, or pay at least £20 a night in a hotel, so in an attempt to cut back the outgoings I booked the hostel. I didn't slept well that first night - there was one person snoring, while another had a cough, plus if you stay in shared accommodation then you'd better love being woken up early by an orchestra of zips. Nothing I hadn't expected though, that's the price for paying a lower price. You get the social element thrown in as a bonus, too. I met three Germans lads who were doing the typical SE Asia routes together, as well as a really cool Canadian girl who was playing uke outside. I asked her to show me some chords and I ended up writing a half decent riff. She had such a good and mature mind, especially given that she was only 19 - we chatted about things like spirituality and materialism, but not in the bullshit hippy traveller way that you might imagine, rather it was very interesting and deep. She sung really nicely too. Somehow my situation got invaded by those three German fella's as well as some guys from elsewhere and I felt like I was competing for attention in what was about to become the most musical gangbang of all time. So I left them to it and retreated to the snoring quarters.

The hostel staff were very friendly and helped me to find the Monk Trail (an hour long walk through the forest to reach a temple, which Alex had recommended I do). Alex had also said it was really easy, but I found it to be a steep hill with a very uneven surface, thanks to a shit ton of rocks that digged into the base of my sandles and had me walking in the same way as that Home Alone burglar does when he climbs through the window and treds over the Christmas baubles. I recorded a video to disprove Alex and then, while looking down at my phone to send it to him, I smashed my foot into one of the rocks and cracked a toenail right down the middle. To be fair, after that first bit, the path leveled out quite a lot and it was an enjoyable walk - reminding me a little of the canal path route between Borrowash and Spondon back home. I didn't think to bring any drinks with me, so when I reached the temple at the end and discovered a sign saying "tea and coffee" I was initially relieved, but then discovered that on the contrary there were actually no drinks here at all. That's Asia for you.

As I say, I'd not got a great night's sleep so I went to bed earlier, at around 10:30pm. Then at midnight those three German bastards came crashing into the room with absolutely zero consideration for anyone who might be trying to sleep - and I do mean crashing about, I'm sure I heard them chuck a bag into a wall. Laughing, shouting, etc. There was a group of Asian girls all doing the same, too. I'm naturally more considerate and, when staying in a hostel, will do things like leaving my toothbrush out on the bed during the day, so that it's ready for me to quickly grab without turning the light on or disturbing anyone - which means I really can't tolerate the opposite behaviour. I'm also unlikely to shout at people I don't know but, before my brain knew it, my mouth had uttered the words "you're fucking unreal, shut up". They did shut up slightly, for about a minute. Felt I had no choice in the end but to book a hotel and leave, making sure I slammed the door behind me. I'd already paid in full for four nights so adding the cost of a hotel on top of that wasn't exactly in-line with my ambitions to try and spend less money, but after this experience I just don't fancy going into a hostel again and would rather pay the premium for privacy and good sleep. Actually the hotel I booked just did not exist (yet again), I spent up until around 1am trying to find it but the pin on Google Maps was definitely inaccurate. Eventually found a different hotel with a room available.

I did a self guided city tour of Chiang Mai, mainly seeing some temples - including the silver temple. I also managed to resolve the electric razor situation by purchasing a super expensive £75 one that's awesome. On the way back to the hotel there was a little bar serving Magners and, given Asia's sparsity of cider, I couldn't resist. I met a 60-something year old English guy here (Rick) and got on with him very well. Also discovered the relatively delightful 'yellow curry' which I shall be trying to find elsewhere henceforth. I visited that bar (Riders Corner) two or three more times after that.

Raspberry 2. Raspberry 3.

Temple area at the end of the Monks Trail

CHIANG RAI

I hadn't planned to be in Thailand now and when I was last here it was only just entering the high season. Now fully submerged in boiling weather and huge demand for accommodation, it's not really viable for me to implement my usual system of trying to book a hotel on the same day I want to check-in. Doing that, I've learnt, leaves a choice between sleeping in a shithole, paying an extortionate room rate, or staying way far out from the town centre. I went with the latter option in Chiang Rai.

I came here to see the White Temple and visit the long-neck Karen tribe, so I was happy when both of these were included in a full-day tour arranged through the hotel, which also took me to the Golden Triangle - the point where the borders of Thailand, Myanmar and Laos meet and can all be seen from one spot. The day would have cost £25 with a group, but I went with my gut instinct that a private tour at £75 may well cost three times more but would likely be three times more enjoyable - and I was right. In addition to those three places, I also saw the Black House Museum, had a peng Thai buffet lunch and visited a real non-tourist local market selling all kinds of things; particularly noticeable were the live eels and fish, which I saw being bludgeoned in the head and then passed on to a customer. Like Josh said, you can't get fresher than that. The fella driving me round all day was the best English speaker I've met so far and we had some good conversations, exchanging cultural knowledge and insights. He told me for example that, even if a girl loves you, she won't marry you unless you pay her family for her - it's tradition. You effectively buy your wife. He also showed me how to rub a gong on one side so that it vibrates and produces an increasingly loud sound - he said I was his first guest who could do it correctly and all the rest struggle (I'm not sure why, it was easy).

I smashed Chiang Rai in just two nights/one full day, considering that I also became a very brave boy on the first night by venturing into the city nightlife (translation: by sitting alone in a small bar watching football). The determination to do so much in this short space of time was, I think, bourne out of a realisation that if the first four months of my trip seem to have absolutely flown by and I've only two months left, then I'd better crack on and not have so many lazy days, because I'll be back home before I know it. This also inspired me to book a flight down to Phuket at such a time that I couldn't have another full day in Chiang Rai - part of me wanted to stay there, but only because I wanted to be lazy and I'm fighting against that.

@ white temple

@ black house museum

woman with the most rings on her neck @ karen tribe village

north coast viewpoint where three countries meet

KOH YAO NOI

For reference, "Koh" simply means 'island'. So all the Thai islands begin with "Koh" and from here I will refer to the place only as "Yao Noi". To get here I had to fly down to Phuket in the far-south, get a taxi to the harbour, cross by boat and finally ride a tuc-tuc. Spoke to an American girl on the tuc-tuc who's been living out here for four years and teaching English - it was interesting to talk to her but simultaneously highly irritating due to her rising intonation with every single section of her sentences. Why do so many people talk like that now? Fuck off. I've once again paid the price for paying a lower price, in that the most affordable hotel on the island is on completely the opposite side to the beach and general hub of activity. It's so assumed in SE Asia that you can drive a motorbike (similar to how English think about riding a bicycle) but I can't, so shy of an absolute trek over to the east-side in the blistering heat I've been trapped near the hotel. In an attempt to recover some of my massive spendings, I've been doing some video work for my dad so that's taken up quite a bit of my time on Yao Noi. I ran out of cigarettes so had to walk fifteen minutes to the nearest 7/11 shop, then from there I went to the pier and it offered an absolutely beautiful view, with no other people around to spoil it. Consequently I don't mind at all that I didn't go across to the other side of the island. I also found a small tourist information shop that booked a taxi to the harbour for me so I can easily cross onto Yao Yai - I'd been quite worried about how on earth I'd get back there without walking for years.

KOH YAO YAI

Definitely chose a better location on this island than I had done in Yao Noi. I was very close to the beach, restaurants, an outdoor massage place (which I went to twice) and a tourist information shop where i met a really friendly Pakistani fella called Asin. I was explaning how I couldn't ride a motorbike so he showed me how to operate his and then let me drive up and down the road on it. It's kind of easy like I thought, but the accelerator is a lot more sensitive than I imagined and I also didn't try going round any corners, so I'd still not feel confident about hiring one without more practice. Turns out you're supposed to have an international driving licence too so I'll probably just forget the whole motorbike idea. He booked me on for a private tour to kayak through the forest within the island ('Mangroves') where I was chucking bananas at wild monkies. The tour guide didn't speak very good English at all. After we kayaked he took me to his friend's house where his friend (also a tour guide) offered me to go round there that night and drink beers with them - I'm trying to be open minded and not reject these kind of opportunities but something about it didn't feel right and I went with my gut instinct, instead returning near my hotel for some food and a massage.

PHI PHI ISLAND TOUR

Firstly, I think a lot of westerners mistakenly pronounce this famous island like "fee fee" - ask any Thai person and it's called "pee pee". Secondly, this day tour took me to a couple of other islands too, the first one (which I can't remember the name of) was super tiny and offered almost a full 360 degrees view of the ocean, while the last one (Rang Yai) was stunning with all its palm trees and generally just looked typical of how you might imagine a remote paradise island. Phi Phi itself was beyond beautiful in some parts, but I actually prefered Rang Yai. This group tour was made so much better by the fact that I met an American girl called Jen who was also there on her own (we got talking during the otherwise awkward group tour lunch and then spent the afternoon together). Asin had specially arranged for this tour - which usually only starts and ends in Phuket - to collect me from Yao Yai and then take me over to Phuket at the end of the day, which was perfect as I needed to be on Phuket to see the Similan islands and eventually to fly to Bangkok.

(the tiny island which i can't remember the name of)

phiphi

some cove bit of phiphi (1)

some cove bit of phiphi (2)

rang yai was my favourite

SIMILAN ISLANDS TOUR

So the very next day I'm collected from my hotel in Phuket to go visit the Similan islands on another group tour. When we first stopped for everyone to go snorkelling I was just sitting on the boat and it was rocking so much that I felt sea sick. We stopped at one of the Similans (No.3 i think) for lunch and a quick wander round then I mentioned my feeling unwell to the tour guide, a good idea as it led to her dropping me and a few others off on Similan 8 to spend more time there while the rest went off for more snorkelling. Loved this island - I climbed to the top of the rocks to get a look-out over the bay, then climbed back down to just chill in the shade on the beach. Not sure the tour was worth £100, I'd rather have just gone there myself than had to wait around for snorkelling and be restricted as to how long I could spend on the beaches, but the Similans are rightly considered such a national treasure that I think you have to specially apply through the Thai government to stay overnight there. Certainly, you can't just go on booking.com.

camera lense needed wiping unbeknownst to me

BANGKOK

Asin had also given me instructions for navigating the underground railway at BKK airport and connecting to the BTS skytrain so that I could get within walking distance of the Indian Embassy. I needed to go here as, thanks to the Indian government website presumably having been designed by a 10 year old, I'd wasted two hours on there trying and failing to get an e-Visa. Got right to tthe end and clicked 'Print Form', which took me back to the home page and it wouldn't alow me back in even using all the correct information. Kind of predictable that the guy at the embassy was unhelpful, denying any problem with the website and claiming that I "should have planned better". Such nonsense. Yes, I'm sure your broken website would be magically fixed if I had allowed more than an incredibly reasonably 20-something days for you to process a visa. I was really close to losing my shit but, being inside an embassy building where I'd had to pass through security, think it's wise that I didn't. I'm gutted because, although I had been least bothered about visiting India and had even decided at one point that I wouldn't bother going, I'd since found a tour guide in India who could drive me round and book all my hotels for a week so it would have been a really easy ride and I could have seen a very diverse culture, but now I'm unable to go there and it's not even of my choosing. Really don't know how anybody visits India. There was even a French guy at the embassy at the same time, who had the same issue but was also turned away, so I know it's not just me.

Met up with Bew again (the same girl I'd met on my last night in Bangkok before going to Vietnam about 6 weeks ago) and spent a few days with her. Mainly playing pool, which she actually really enjoys - I'd assumed she just went to play pool with me when we first met because she thought I'd enjoy it. I taught her how to use the cue a bit better. She's a bit mad and makes very little sense even when speaking English, plus she does that whole Thai girl thing where I'll tell what I know is a funny story but then get no response or have any conversation put back to me, making it awkward at times. It's also super expensive to hang about with a Thai girl since they expect you will pay for everything. She wanted to go out to a club at 3 in the morning and I ended up going (she stays up really late every night). Knackered while writing this on the bus down to Pattaya.  I guess seeing her was overall a lot more of an enjoyable way to spend a few days in Bangkok than if I'd been alone. I've been there four or five times now and can say with quite a lot of certainty that I don't really like it. It's way too busy and dirty.

I also met up with Jane again (the American girl I'd met on the Phi Phi tour) and we went to the tallest building in Bangkok (King Power tower or something), where there was a skydeck and I actually braved going on it and lying on my front to look down to the street f*kin ages beneath me. We also planned and tried to get into a jazz bar, but I didn't think about the possibility of a dress code and they didn't let me in wearing shorts and a t-shirt. She wanted to meet me again the next night to go and see a ping-pong show, something that I'd forgotten was even an option while in Thailand, but didn't end up doing, because it was a choice of either go out again with a girl who isn't single nor as hot as Bew, or meet Bew again and almost definitely have her back in my room. Jane is a really nice person, I think, but since my brain is located in my dick you can hopefully understand my decision to sack her off. I've been keeping in contact via WhatsApp as friends, though.

PATTAYA

Went back to Pattaya in hope of meeting Bee again, as planned. I got there a few days earlier but, the night before we were due to meet, she video called me saying she was ill and had gone home to her family in Bangkok. I couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed in spite of seeing that she was genuinely unwell. She eventually returned to Pattaya but seemingly had no intentions of meeting me and, when confronted, admitted she "didn't have time" to see me. I wasn't going to let it slide, but instead explained to her how I'd gone back into Thailand and waited until 4th Feb to see her, that I now couldn't trust her if I ever bothered going again and that I wished her good luck. She called me saying she doesn't want to remember me like that and did make time to see me just an hour or two later, as well as the next day. Still not exactly the week we'd planned and there was just a different vibe from before, she didn't seem as into me. And yet, she is still messaging and seems to want to see me if I do go back to Thailand. So it's a tricky one to work out. I also went back to BB Snooker club a few times. She actually left Pattaya again a day before I did, to attend some family matter in her hometown Petchabun up in the north, so the feeling that I was hanging on for something was very much emphasised as that was indeed physically what I was actually doing - to not be the one leaving left me feeling a bit weird, in addition to knowing I'll not see her again for a long time at least. She seemed much more bothered about money this time, as opposed to before when she spent the week with me without expecting any payment.

Tablets for a different infection in turn gave me what I believe is a chest infection. Felt really unwell most the time I was in Pattaya and still haven't recovered more than a week later, as I write this on the plane to Amman.

BANGKOK

And so finally I returned yet again to Bangkok. I'd be flying to Jordan from here and, super importantly, I needed to go back to the doctor once more to see if they had any medicine for the new infection, but they were closed and wouldn't be open again until after I'd left Thailand. I also met with Bew again and we got on better than the previous two times we've met - she said she loves me and wants to come to England. She kept saying how she wants to see me angry, to tell her what I dislike about her - some twisted female psychology and I'm way too chill to get angry about almost anything.

#legs

Overall, I had a good month in Thailand - saw everything I'd missed out on the first time and those places were well worth going to. The long neck tribes in Chiang Rai weren't as shocking as I'd imagined, plus I had that bad experience in the Chiang Mai hostel, but I still had a good time in the north. Then the islands were beautiful and it was good to meet the American girl (Jen) who I'll maybe stay in contact with. I particularly liked kayaking on one of the islands and feeding the wild monkies. Phi Phi is overrated in my opinion. And then finally got to see Bew and Bee again. Also got massively into Thai curry, to the point that in just four weeks I'm sick of it. Now really excited for my piss-easy ride through Jordan with a tour company.