Jordan

JORDAN

11th to 19th Feb 2019

DAY 1

I can't sleep when I'm in a car, on a bus, or plane. I need silence, to be lying down and not have my head rocking about - obviously. How do people sleep on public transport? I'll never know. So the 10hr direct flight from Bangkok to Amman, arriving at about 5am, left me in a state of sleep deprivation that my feet nearly refused to put up with and, actually struggling to even walk, I once more had to undergo the whole customs/ATM/sim-card process. Fortunately this was made a little easier by Ahmed, the driver from the tour company I'd booked with, who ensured that my visa was free-of-charge.

While a visit to Jordan and specifically Petra had been on my initial shortlist when planning all this travelling, it never made the final cut, so I didn't have any route plan or idea of where to stay and how to get around; nor was I willing to bother trying to sort all this, especially since I didn't know whether it was realistically very safe to travel around Jordan unaccompanied, plus I could still encounter logistical difficulties even with planning (I assumed this country wouldn't be as tourist-friendly and easy to navigate as a place like Thailand). Hence booking with a tour company for all transport, hotels and entrance fees. I'd also calculated that, in spite of this costing a whopping $1095, I'd pay about the same if I sorted everything independently, so there was just no good reason to go alone. Another crucial factor was that, by booking with them, I had the very early morning transfer from the airport to the first hotel sorted and could go get many, many hours of sleep.

As I'd imagined and hoped, Jordan is vastly different from any of the other four countries I've visited so far. While they had been different from each other in some aspects, they were all in SE Asia and relatively similar accordingly. Conversely, I was a little culture-shocked when arriving in Amman, which on first impression looks like a huge prison camp. While all the white-stone buildings are obviously distinct from each other, in the literal sense of there being some space between them, they're so plain and indifferent in their design and outwards appearance that it's difficult to tell if they are a shop, hotel, restaurant, house or anything else. There's so much colour, advertising, shop signage and general text everywhere you look in a SE Asia city, so this difference was really shocking. I also immediately noticed how much more 'open' it is here. Go to a Thai city like Bangkok or Pattaya for example and you'll struggle to see beyond the very compact and busy streets; but all across Jordan you can see the horizon for miles in any direction and, in some places like on the long highways, you'll see not even a single building anywhere around you, just beautiful landscape. But above and beyond all that, the most noticeable difference was how much colder it is in Jordan - a byproduct of my lack of prep for visiting this country, I arrived wearing shorts and a t-shirt, not expecting the winter temperatures - so after my long sleep I had pretty much no choice other than to go to TAJ Mall for jeans and a coat.

DAY 2

A different driver, Mohammed, picked me up from the hotel the next morning and took me to see the citadel and an ancient Roman theatre in Amman. He'd be my driver for most of my journey through Jordan. The chocolate here seems to taste a bit purer than back home and I really enjoyed eating a Mars bar inside a 4000 year old cave.

There's a lot of association with ancient Rome here, something I was unaware of - I think Jordan was a key part of their empire but I don't know the history. This became really apparent when, later that day, Mohammed drove me to a city further north called Jerash. Not quite a UNESCO World Heritage site solely because of some very particular regulations, the archaeological site in Jerash offers you the chance to walk through the remains of what was once a thriving Roman town. I did get a bit conned here though, as two guys gave me 'free' postcards and led me off in a certain direction before begging for money and telling me they had change for 50 JOD (the smallest bill I had). They gave me about 5 back.

DAY 3

I'd end up in a hotel near Petra but not before stopping at Mount Nebo and Shobak Castle, two places that are more than worthy of a visit, offering stunning views out over desert landscape. Mount Nebo has some kind of association with Moses from the bible, but I didn't bother trying to learn in what way exactly. The hotel near Petra offered me a 'Turkish bath', something I'd never heard of before, but turned out to be twenty minutes in a sauna, ten minutes of a man showering me vigorously and then thirty minutes of that same man massaging me vigorously. I don't know what he was using but it honestly felt like a scouring pad and it really hurt my ankle. I will say, however, that I've never felt cleaner. Mohammed returned to Amman so he could attend his brother's wedding and told me a different driver would meet me the next day. Dinner in the hotel cost 15 JOD, very extortionate for a fairly terrible lukewarm buffet. I'd already noticed prior to this just how badly they rip off tourists in Jordan, but I'll come onto that later...

DAY 4

Some very inconsiderate guests in the hotel woke me up around 6:30am. It wasn't too much of a problem because I'd planned an early wake-up anyway, such that I had as much time as possible at Petra before this new driver took me to the Wadi Rum desert in the evening. Mohammed had promised that he'd return the 50 JOD Petra entry fee to me when he next saw me, but it was coming out of my pocket for the timebeing. After walking from the hotel to the ticket office, I had to then get a taxi back to the hotel to pick up my passport because no-one had told me I'd need this to gain entry. That rigmarole out the way, I was beginning to study the site map when a woman from South Africa started making conversation. She was also travelling solo, but unlike me she didn't take up the offer of going half-way from the entrance to the Treasury on horseback, which was included free with your ticket. Maybe she had better foresight than me, because while this is technically free, it only remains free if you can withstand the extremely high-pressure selling tactics of the men in charge of the horses, who eventually convinced me to part with another 50 JOD to go round the back of the site and eventually reach a cliff from which the Treasury could be seen below. At the very end, I was expected to give no less than a further 20 JOD as a tip, but I still think this was an amazing way to go. I had the horse galloping through some of the most incredible scenery I've ever witnessed. It was like a dream and I don't think you can get much closer to feeling like you're in the wild-west. Red Dead Jordemption. (Note: my respect for jockeys has increased tenfold since learning what it feels like to sit on top of a running horse. Do they even have bollocks?)

[Fig. Makeup]

The Treasury itself was even bigger and more impressive than I'd imagined. I didn't get much chance to look at it, though, because I was pretty much immediately guided across to another bloke, who was very insistent on the idea of me paying another 25 JOD to go to the Monastery on the back of a donkey. To be fair, it was a two hour round trip on foot that I didn't fancy, so putting an animal to use instead was obviously totally reasonable - why on earth would I feel guilty about that...

That guilt was lessened somewhat when, about half way up the 1000 steps, the donkey went round a bend really close to the side-wall and smashed my knee into an iron table. I'm not saying it was deliberate. But who knows.

It was actually this other bloke's son who was guiding the donkey and walking up the steps alongside me. About 6 or 7 years old, he spoke surprisingly good English, though I guess this comes more naturally and necessarily to a child who is pretty much destined to be working with tourists for his entire life. He led me not all the way to the Monastery as promised, but instead about three quarters of the way, where I was subjected to more super intense pressure selling by a woman on a souvenir stand, with whom I assume the boy was in cahoots. I bought a pretty nice table ornament, for the pretty unreasonable price of 15 JOD, before climbing the remaining stairs. The Monastery was similarly impressive to the Treasury and well worth the journey. However, my arse was very much feeling the toll of having now ridden both a horse and a donkey and I knew it was best to just walk back down, even if it took a lot more time. So I told this little fella that's what I'd be doing and began to walk away from him. He said he would take me somewhere else, some view point or something, but I knew he and his father would also be expecting a hefty tip so I ignored him and took off at pace, such that there was an increasingly large distance between us. I could hear him shouting "hello", "mister", etc. but I didn't turn around. In this life, kid, people are going to ignore you, so get used to it.

The first guy, whom I'd paid 70 JOD to for the horse bit, had applied some coal eyeliner on me. It's made locally and all the men who live in Petra wear it, to protect from sunlight and sand. They look really cool, like Arab Johnny Depp. I mention this to clarify why I'm wearing eyeliner in a picture above [Fig. Makeup]. The only downside to the back route he'd taken me on was that I'd not first laid eyes on the Treasury in the most classic way, which is instead done by approaching it on foot and seeing a glimpse of it through the opening at the end of the Siq passageway (where Indiana and co. ride off through at the end of The Last Crusade). So when I completed the walk back to the Treasury, I made sure to keep looking away from it and only turn around after walking a small distance into the Siq.

(Siq view)

Felt a bit hungry after eventually walking back to the ticket office area so I went into one of the takeaway restaurants and ordered a zinger chicken sandwich and an orange juice. There were no prices on the walls and I didn't expect it to be cheap, but I did expect that it wouldn't come to the ridiculous total price of 21 JOD (about £21). The guys at the pay desk looked sheepish and were clearly avoiding eye contact. Bastards. That same blood-boiling feeling I'd experienced in the Indian Embassy in Bangkok once again emerged, but again I managed to keep cool. No reason why I should have though. Jordan is the worst so far for ripping off tourists. Always got their hands out for huge tips and just don't take no for an answer when trying to sell shit to you. £3 for a Red Bull at tourist sites, when they're not even £1 in a minimart. (Yes I am addicted to energy drinks again - thank you Asia.)

So then this new driver collected me from the hotel and drove me about two hours to the Wadi Rum desert so I could stay there overnight. He wasn't as friendly as Mohammed and I felt a bit unsafe with him - he had an attitude and kept mentioning how he loves to drive fast, showing me a video on his phone where you can see him go through Amman at over 160kph. A jeep came and got me from the main road to cross the desert and reach the campsite - it was super cold sitting on the back of that jeep but the stars in the sky were really clear and my surroundings, albeit disguised somewhat by the dark, looked incredible. It wasn't really camping, fortunately, they were more like hotel rooms inside tents. They had proper en-suite bathrooms and, crucially, aircon up to 30°C. The guys running the site were so nice and gave me a huge dinner, as well as a free cup of tea the next morning just because I didn't have any change on me.

DAY 5

Mohammed wouldn't collect me until 11am as I'd told him I would opt-in for a two hour jeep tour through the desert at 9am. However, having rinsed my cash in Petra, I woke up less keen on spending a further 60 JOD. Plus I figured that what I could see within a five minute walk from the campsite was pretty much all there was to it. It's not like they'd drive ten minutes away and suddenly it would all go purple. Stunning place though and obviously not like anything I've seen before. The tour company's itinerary was a bit weak here in that they'd only properly allowed me to see Wadi Rum overnight - when it was cold and dark. Could have done with a day here. Mohammed drove me back to Amman, about a four hour journey, and I checked-in to the same hotel as I'd first stayed in. Coincidentally, I got the same room too, 506.

DAY 6

Excluding the transfer back to the airport, today would be my last involvement with the tour company and Mohammed took me to the Dead Sea. The lowest point on earth (obviously that isn't underwater), the Dead Sea lies 400ft below sea level and its high salt content supposedly means you can just float on it with incredible ease, so I was excited to go there and experience it.

Not too far from the resort, I noticed that my ears went all funny. Like they needed popping. Presumably a result of being at such low altitude?

I got changed and walked over to the sea. No-one had warned me that the base of the sea wasn't sandy at all, instead it was full of sharp rocks that cut up my feet and hands. Plus, I honestly didn't notice the whole ease of floating thing. Maybe it was a bit easier than in normal water, but it wasn't this mad experience that I'd read and been told about. The lifeguard had to give me plasters and antiseptic, which stung like a bitch. As I write this, I've got two really long cuts on the base of my right foot, making it painful to walk anywhere. A shame that the last part of my Jordan tour was so disappointing, though also much better than if I'd had to go walk round more places in pain.

DAY 7

The first of my two 'free' days before heading back to the airport, this cough and cold that started a couple of weeks ago in Pattaya still hadn't cleared so I tried to find a doctor in Amman. I also needed some advice on how to treat the various cuts on my hands and particularly the big cut on the bottom of my foot, to reduce the amount of time I'm limping around for. I really don't want to have any kind of physical discomfort when I visit the pyramids in Egypt. However, any doctors I did find online had really vague address details that didn't come up on Google Maps, so I wouldn't be able to find them even if I made an appointment. There was a hospital not too far at all from the hotel, with a good website in English, but I rang them and discovered I'd be looking at £70-£100 just for a consultation. I instead went across the road to a pharmacy for advice and got some antiseptic, bandages and an assortment of tablets. It wasn't until getting back to the hotel that I realised she'd given me the very same tablets that I believe gave me this possible chest infection in the first place, Azithromycin, so obviously I won't be taking them. Realistically I'm going to have to wait until I'm back in England if I want decent, reliable medical advice. I'll just go to the pyramids, cough up a lung and limp over it - it's fine. (Hoping it's not so serious that waiting until I'm home allows further problems to develop.) Experienced immense boredom from this point and couldn't stand just staying in the hotel room so in spite of the foot pain I went for a wander round Amman and headed to the snooker club, not realising I'd left my glasses behind. Went to one of the very few restaurants I could see on Maps and paid through the nose for what were admittedly incredibly peng steak wraps. Then decided to just go snooker anyway and to my surprise I'm actually about equally as good (bad) without my glasses. I've been spending a lot of these evenings in a little cafe on the 12th floor of the hotel and on this night I watched a 2hr film called 'See No Evil' about the Myra Hindley/Ian Brady 'moors murders' back in the 60's, it was a really good watch.



DAY 8

Woke up with absolutely nothing to do bar making sure my bags were packed ready for flying to Egypt the next morning. Somehow my search of places to go and see in Amman was more fruitful than it had been the day before, revealing King Abdullah I Mosque and the Jordan Museum. The latter was surprisingly interesting as I learnt how the 'dark ages' is probably the worst-named period of history ever - in fact so many key inventions and discoveries were made during this time that the Arabs instead refer to it as the 'golden ages'. For example, I found out that the same material used for surgical stitching over 1000 years ago is still used today and there are many other direct bearings from this time on the modern day. I just used a street taxi (as opposed to the Careem app) to go from the museum to the mosque, but the driver Sharif suggested some palace ruins about 20km out from the city and I went with him. "Qasr al-'Abd" dated back to 200 BC or something. Sharif, who looked like an Arab Sean Connery, was such a nice bloke and also took me to eat 'mansaf', one of the most popular Jordanian dishes consisting of lamb and rice covered in hot yoghurt made from goat's milk. To be honest it was disgusting and actually smelt like sick, meaning I couldn't eat mine and was then subjected to his sick-breath for the rest of the afternoon. First time experience to go inside a mosque, too. I wasn't expecting it to be such a large, open space inside. Finally I went to the snooker club again and indeed my glasses made no difference at all - I probably missed more shots while wearing them than I had the night before without, presumably due to some miniscule perspective shift caused by the glasses which, in a game with such fine margins, can make a huge difference. Spent the last few hours chilling in that 12th floor cafe again, watching a horror film and Man U v Chelsea.

Creamy sick with lamb. Delightful.

Eat your mansick, Junior.

World tour going well, another sell-out venue.

ceiling/inside of dome @ king ab. mosque

I enjoyed Jordan - a very small country with a huge amount of historical sites and a culture different to anywhere else I've been. It's certainly not cheap, about on par with England for nearly everything except cigarettes. Mixture of good and bad local food. Jordanians are always expecting tips and are really good at pressuring you into buying, but at the same time they are the friendliest people I've encountered. Saw one of the world wonders in Petra and some other really cool places that I would have missed out on had I stuck to my original travel plans. My presumption that the middle-east was probably safer than western media portrays was on-the-money, I never felt in any danger here except for during that drive down to Wadi Rum. I think one week, as I've had, is enough time to see the best of Jordan, or stay for two weeks if you want to see the lot. I think I got unlucky with the Dead Sea so I'd still recommend going there, just be sure to wear sandles or something. I'll be back to self-navigating when I go through Egypt so it won't be as much of an easy ride as I've had through Jordan, however I'm hoping it will be cheaper.


RATINGS:
local food: 7/10
western food (quality & availability): 7/10
cigarettes quality: 8/10
cost/general cheapness: 3/10
friendliness towards tourists: 10/10
easiness to get around solo: N.A.
english speaking ability: 8/10
beauty/nature: 8/10
things to see and do: 7/10
relaxing: 7/10
girls hotness: 6/10
girls willingness: N.A.
likelihood of re-visiting: 5/10