Thailand

THAILAND

17 Nov to 15 Dec 2018

BANGKOK

Obviously I started off in Bangkok. Worth noting that proof of onward travel was actually requested when passing through immigration at the airport, which fortunately I had, so don't believe anything online about it being okay to risk it.

I'd downloaded a dating app called ThaiFriendly a few days before entering the country - a move that really altered the projectory of my trip, as will come to light at various points within this blog.

On my first night I ventured out unknowingly to the famous Khao San Road. It's a long street full of loud bars, massage girls and food sellers. Maybe if two or three of us had gone here together it would be a good night out, but it was far too intense and intimidating for just me on my own. Certainly not suitable for a quiet solo pint. On returning to the hostel there was a guy from California smoking outside and he revealed that his legitimate actual name is Victor German. I told him I couldn't quite wrap my head around how unique this is.

On my very first full day in Thailand that dating app had begun to shape my journey, in the way of a date with a girl called Ari. We met in a cafe, but the vibe had already gone a bit awkward before we moved on to Wat Pho temple (also called Wat Phra) and I sensed my efforts to keep the conversation flowing were not being reciprocated.

Wat Pho temples

We also sat by the river later on but eventually walked back to her bus in near silence. In spite of later admitting she wasn't looking for anything more than friends, she did want to meet again in a week's time and go to another temple together. I would maybe have gone with her as it gave me enough time to go to Khao Yai national park and Ayutthaya, but I didn't see her again and the reasons for which shall be explained later. Worth noting that as a result of getting ready to meet with her, I didn't get
chance to see the Grand Palace as planned, but I'm not too bothered.

Me & Ari by the river

KHAO YAI

The dude on reception in the hostel said that the best way to get to Khao Yai national park (note: 'national park' and 'jungle' are basically interchangeable) would be to get a coach from Mochit 2 North bus station. Problem was he hadn't really clarified which town I should be heading to - something of significant concern given that the park is huge and I'd not want to stay miles and miles away from the waterfalls and incredible views I'd planned to see. Originally I'd chosen and booked a hotel on the south side of the jungle, but just minutes before getting to the bus station I got a message from Ari, instead suggesting a place called Pak Chong on the north side. The station was insanely big and had next to no English printed on any signage, so I honestly had no idea if I'd boarded the correct bus. I did get to Pak Chong though. Somehow, the cheapest room I could book was big enough for four people.

Errrrm sorry where I am going???

In spite of planning three or four days in the jungle, I managed to see everything I wanted to in just one day, with the assistance of a tour guide called JJ. She told me there was only a slim chance of seeing any wild elephants, but - and I'm not meaning to be rotten - she was something of an elephant herself. She laughed at my fear of snakes and her incredible aptitude for the exploring the jungle made me feel effeminate by comparison. We did, however, briefly see a family of wild elephants, but it rained so much all day that neither of us managed to take a good photo of them.

Later I found myself on a 1km walk through this intense water fall to reach the intense waterfall that is Haew Narok. An incredible sight!

I visited another waterfall as well as a famous viewing point called Pa Deo Die cliff, which was also breathtaking but slightly spoiled by the large number of people coincidentally all there at the same time. 

Pa Deo Die

AYUTTHAYA

The trains in Thailand not only cost about just 50p for a two hour journey, they go at a reasonable speed unlike in Cambodia. My hotel ('The Sixty') was very close to most of the old broken temples in Ayutthaya but it was by far the strangest place I've stayed to date. It looked, smelt and felt like a museum with its dim lights and excessive taxidermy, plus the staff were very weird and it took around ten minutes to check in. My room, which had a similarly bizarre decor, did not have a regular door handle but rather a plastic mould of a human hand, so you had to hold that and twist it to open the door. Out of sheer convenience I did try to extend my stay to two nights but when she told me this wasn't possible I really didn't mind too much. I moved to a hostel instead and nobody else was in my dorm all night, meaning I effectively got a private room for just £6.

I saw about three or four ruined temples from the Ayutthaya period (I think 17th century?) and for the first time in my trip I got a real sense of walking through history - for this reason I prefer sites like these where little to no restoration work has taken place.

I was also impressed by a huge Buddha statue located inside Wat Mongolbopit and the photo doesn't do it justice. Given my comments about being "templewhelmed" in Indonesia for example, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Ayutthaya.

BANGKOK (Again)

Yet to decide on my next destination, I did know it would either be south from Bangkok, or a flight north from Bangkok and so returned there, with the additional draw of knowing I would be meeting a girl called Cecinaa ('Kam'). I got a hotel with an amazing view.

I keep up with the snooker season on YouTube and I knew that many of the pro's like Mark Williams, Mark Selby, Kyren Wilson and Ronnie O'Sullivan had practiced for a tournament a few months prior at a place called Hi-End Snooker Club in Bangkok - so obviously I wanted to go. Really amazing service, I can see why professional players would choose to practice there. Even though I was just practicing by myself, a member of staff would re-spot the colours and re-rack the reds for me as and when necessary or requested. It added quite a lot of unwanted pressure to actually play well though. I'm 100% certain they've seen better.



Somehow my electric razor had gone missing and I realised this just two hours before my date with Kam - so I rushed about the city, by some miracle got hold of a new one and met her on time at Victory Monument. I'd joked with my mate back home that she might be a ladyboy and fortunately this horror did not come true, she was actually much nicer looking in person than in her pictures. She spent both that night and the following night in my hotel and we generally got on really well. She also took me to a strip club on the second night. I didn't know that whenever the king or royalty is nearby all Thai people must stop in their tracks and keep silent to show respect - so when we crossed some big park in the middle of the city and this happened I kept walking, thinking "what's going on". Apparently, Kam had said my name a few times but these Asian girls speak so quietly I didn't hear her at all - I'm sure their volume level is fixed to 0.  I later learned that her name is really Cecina (pronounced 'Ses-see-naaaaaaaaaa').

PATTAYA

Having followed Cecina's instructions for navigating the skytrain and getting to a different bus depot in Bangkok, I eventually reached Pattaya and did pretty much nothing for both the first and the following day.

Pattaya is the city of whores. I'll not pretend I had other intentions. The hottest girl on the ThaiFriendly app was here and I was quite willing to pay 3000 Baht (£75) for her night-long services. One way or another I ended up saying that I'd gone to Pattaya for her and she fell for me, offering to spend all the next day and night with me for free. I'm writing this over a week later and I'm still in Pattaya, having spent every day/night with her since then (free).

I'd intended to leave here after just three days originally, which became five days, which has now become "until my visa expires" (2/3 weeks total). That's because I've discovered the person underneath - the facets to her that extend beyond what job she has - and I really like her, we're similar and get on well, she's kind and caring, plus she's crazy and hot. She says she's selling herself because she has to support her family - her dad is unable to walk or work and apparently the Thai government offers no disability allowance, so it's the only way she can make decent enough money. She doesn't actually want to do it. Problem for me is that, because I'm staying for longer than those first five days, she's had to go out and "work" again before returning to my room each night - I'm being cuckolded by a girl that I properly rate. It's the most bizarre situation I've found myself in for a long time and possibly ever. Why must life be so awkward that I find the most amazing girl with the most terrible job. She's paid for the hotel a few times and also got us expensive cinema tickets so we could lie down in a bed together while watching the film. She's hand washed my clothes, taken responsibility for nursing a wound on the back of my leg and is helping me to try and quit smoking by allowing one less each day and keeping a log. She buys food for us and helps me to get around the city. I can tell she's a good person. Plus, amid the occasional awkward silences that I generally experience with any girl when eating out together, we have some really good deep conversations about happiness etc. We both dislike clubbing and can't dance. We both love food so much that we were commenting on a dessert for the whole time we shared it. We have nearly identical scars near our abdomens - in terms of both position and size. It's weird.

We went to a restaurant right by the sea and they had Thatchers cider on the menu. My first sip of such nectar in almost three months.

We went to the Sanctuary of Truth, which looked really impressive and also offered us the opportunity for an elephant ride and a foot massage.

We went to an island off the coast of Pattaya called Koh Larn for one night. Tien beach was so nice and I finally conquered my fear of taking off my t-shirt in public so I could swim in the sea, albeit towards the end of the day when the beach had gone quiet.

We went to Dolphin World and saw them perform tricks, before also riding an ATV together.

[9/12/18] I had actually agreed to stay beyond those first five days with her only on the basis that she works one day and then takes the next day off with me and she agreed, but this isn't how it panned out - she spent all but one evening out working. After four or five nights of this I raised the issue and said that 'if she goes again tomorrow, then I go tomorrow'. She somehow persuaded me that she has so many family members to support that she just can't afford to miss a night's work.

To add to the bad feeling, with much pestering from me she eventually revealed the secret that she already has a boyfriend in Germany and that he would be coming to stay with her for a month in about three weeks time, so she needed money saved for that. Writing this just shy of two weeks after first meeting her, I'm resigned to the idea that nothing will ever happen between us long term - which is a shame given how much I like her as a person - and I'm comfortable with the realisation that I'm best to just enjoy the free sex and good company, while I've got it. I need to go and apply for a 14-day Visa extension tomorrow at some government office in Pattaya, so that I can go see the places I've missed out on by staying here for so long, so the timing of my return to Bangkok depends on whether or not I can stay in Thailand any longer...

BANGKOK (Again Again)

[13/12/18] The office was closed due to some sort of national holiday. I realised that, regardless of whether or not I could extend my Thai visa, I needed to pick a day to leave Pattaya and stay true to it, else I'd just find myself waylaid there for even longer. Being on my own all day in a city with nothing for me to do except wait for her return was not what I had in mind as a good traveling experience. So I left there two days ago and returned to Bangkok, where for the second time I met with my friend Alex as it was coincidentally the last day of his travels and he was flying home from BKK that night. I do miss the company I had in Pattaya and still think she's an amazing 2-in-1 package of super nice and super hot, but it just couldn't work long-term because of her job, existing boyfriend and the Thai government not letting me stay anyway. That doesn't mean I wouldn't ever go back and see her again, though. I've spent the last couple of days in a grotty hotel in the side streets near Khao San Road, debilitated by a shockingly large hemorrhoidal invasion, from which I shall hopefully recover in time for my free hookups on Friday or at least in time for going to Vietnam on Saturday. Alex gave me the good idea of simply going to Vietnam for a month, as I had wanted to, and then re-entering Thailand later to see the places I've missed out on, rather than trying to extend my Thai visa now. 

Me & Alex on Khao San Road

[15/12/18] I found a bar/restaurant called Beer Collection with, as you might expect, a massive collection of beers to choose from - including an elderflower cider. Too tasty to be described with words. On this, my last night in Thailand, I met with another girl off the ThaiFriendly app called Bew. She looked nice in her pictures but absolutely stunning in-person. Tiny body, long legs, ah she was peng. She suggested we go play pool together which I was happy to agree to but, given this is what 'working girls' do, I was a bit suspicious, albeit needlessly so in the end. Her English was the worst of any Thai girl I've met so it was really difficult to have any kind of decent conversation but nevertheless she did stay the night, before sending me off in a taxi to the airport the next morning and asking me to contact her again in about 5 or 6 weeks when I go back to Bangkok.


Thailand was a weird one. I didn't stick to my original route plan by any means, seeing just three different places that were all within a couple of hours of Bangkok. And yet the month went really quickly again. I spoke to an old English dude in Pattaya who said that Thailand makes you lazy and I couldn't agree more. It was really nice to spend time with so many Thai people but it's sapped some of my enthusiasm for travelling solo, as I will now return to doing. The plan is, however, to actually stick to my intended route through Vietnam and see most of the places I planned to. I'm still talking to Bee, Bew and a different girl in the far-south of Thailand so I should have options when I go back; plus I really don't want this journey to be over-ruled by my dick too much. I feel knackered at this point but it's partly because very recently I've been staying up until 4am, 5am or 6am. Just need to get back into a decent sleeping pattern. It's very difficult to draw any comparisons between here, Cambodia and Indonesia because I've operated in different ways in each place; but it feels like the vibe in Thailand is a bit more chill and modern than in Cambodia. Based only on vibes, if I had to choose just one place I'd go back to, it would be Thailand.