IntrovertOnTheRoad: November 2018

CAMBODIA

18th Oct to 17th Nov 2018

PHNOM PENH

No problems entering Cambodia - a visa on arrival is $30. A thirty minute tuk-tuk ride got me from the airport to my hotel (SY Guesthouse) and the bloke on reception was really helpful, taking me over to a large map of Cambodia on the wall and suggesting changes to my planned route through the country such that I could see more of it. I'm not sure whether I'll bother, partly because of time restrictions, partly because of laziness and largely because it didn't take long to realise that Cambodia really isn't very cheap at all. It's shocking actually. Yes, for a lot of things it's still cheaper than England (50g of Amber Leaf tobacco is $6.50), but it's just nowhere near as cheap as Indonesia or what you'd expect for a south-east asian country, so I don't think my budget will allow me to travel around any more than my original plans. The guy behind the bar, Bob, was really friendly and I had a good chat with him every day - he seemed quite gutted when I eventually left the hotel. Obviously, Bob is his nickname for the sake of memorability, a good strategy as I did indeed forget his real name within one minute of asking. Since the sea at Gili Meno had rendered my camera useless, mission number one in Phnom Penh was to find a shop that could repair it and supply a new SD card ($59) - I collected it the next day and the first photo was this one of Bob below when he wasn't expecting it. (Note: do not do this, in my research of local laws/customs it advised that you do not take pictures of people without asking - I just knew he'd be chill about it in this instance.)

I walked to the riverfront and found a cafe serving Cambodia beer at $0.50 a glass (2,000 Riels). This was great because it made the otherwise quite boring trip to the nearby National Museum more worthwhile.

Mekong river - from the west side in Phnom Pehn

If you're planning on visiting this country then you probably already know about the mixture of currencies here. For anything under $1, you pay in Riel, which currently has an accepted conversation rate of 4,000 per $1. This is actually really easy to get your head around, it's not tricky like you might expect and again it means you aren't carrying lots of coins - just notes. The frustrating thing is that the ATM's (which all charge at least $4 per withdrawal) give out one-hundred dollar notes which, in spite of my earlier comment about the expensiveness in Cambodia, is far too high value to really be spent anywhere, except perhaps for your hotel. The manager at SY Guesthouse very reluctantly changed one of my $100 notes for a few smaller ones. Conversely, if you purchase something priced at say $2.09, you can end up with a 100 Riel note, which is far too low value to be spent almost anywhere (I managed to get rid when buying an envelope).

My trip here was mid October to mid November - a time, I thought, when the rainy season was already over. It transpired that the rainy season is not actually over until around mid November. It's still hot and sunny most of the time, but when it rains in Cambodia, it really rains. Like nothing I've seen before.

Most people visit the Tuol Sleng genocide museum ("S21 prison") and the Killing Fields in one day, as part of a package with a tour operator. I couldn't be bothered to sort that, so I split it over two separate days and just got my own tuk-tuk ride to each - plus I think this worked out cheaper overall. First I went to S21 as it's much closer to the centre of Phnom Penh. This is the best-known of many prisons throughout Cambodia where the Khmer Rouge brought innocent people between 1975 to 1979 often under the pretense that they were being moved to work in a different city or country, before falsely accusing them of conspiring against their country, such as by being a spy for the CIA or the Russian equivalent. Victim to many torture methods (ripping off toenails is the first example that comes to mind), these people - mainly teachers, lawyers and other professionals ("the new people") - eventually or perhaps even quickly signed false confessions, to hopefully bring an end to their suffering. The buildings here are actually a former school, converted for these horrific purposes. Thanks to the party's own desire to keep records at the time, it is known that at least 10,000 people were held at S21, yet there were only twelve recorded survivors. I gathered that while the vast majority were ultimately taken to the Killing Fields, some were actually killed at S21 - though I can't be certain. For sure, some prisoners took their own lives here.

Originally part of the school playground, this wooden frame found in front of Building A was used to torture people.

Something that stook in my mind was when the audio tour mentioned how prisoners would be blindfolded, told to piss into a bottle and when they inevitably missed they'd be forced to lick it up off the floor. I don't claim to know all the historical details of 1970's Cambodia and wasn't educated on it at all until about a week before visiting; but this piece of information got me to thinking that the extermination of these people was not solely to align with Pol Pot's dillusional vision of a pure self-sufficient 'communist to the extent of zero individualism' race, which of course is terrible enough, but clearly there was also a degree of sadism that was unnecessary even according to the Khmer Rouge's ambition, which for me makes their reign even more barbaric. I went to the Killing Fields a couple of days later and saw the mass graves, though I do not want to write too much more on this, just to say that this all took place a mere forty years ago and a genocide like this could happen again at any time and anywhere, so do give these places a visit. You'll gain a true insight into the relatively recent and shocking history of Cambodia. I'd also recommend a little bit of your own research beforehand, as neither S21 nor the Killing Fields really gave any background information about the rise of the Khmer Rouge pre-1975 - a topic that is not only interesting but will give you much better context for when you visit.

My laziness dictated that taking off my shoes to enter this building would be too much effort, but inside here is where many skulls are stored - as continue to be brought up from the earth with each rainy season

Shifting away from such a heavy topic, I'll mention my visit to Wat Phnom, which is a small temple on a hill in the middle of the city. It's also home to the 'giant clock', as shown below, which was inaccurate by three hours.

Got the time mate? Aye, its f*kin massive past 6.

Unlike in Indonesia, people in Cambodia generally seemed to know about snooker and there were a few snooker clubs dotted around Phnom Penh. I got a tuk-tuk ride to one of them and just wanted to practice potting and position on the black, but the staff didn't really speak English and before I knew it one of them was playing against me for as long as I wanted (5 frames, 2 hours). She won the match. I'm still disgruntled. I put it down to this - if you work in a snooker hall, you're probably alright at snooker. It's nothing to do with my lack of skill, obviously. I didn't know until the bill came that they'd put me on one of the VIP tables with a rate of $20 an hour...

$40 to lose. I didn't see her paying anything to win. Imagine if in the world championship the winnings were paid by the losing finalist, plus they're about four times as much as he was expecting. Kick a man while he's down. Daylight robbery.

Back in the hotel I was approached by a tuk-tuk driver called Peter who was really friendly and spoke relatively excellent English. He offered to take me to shoot guns at the army base, something I'd planned for when I eventually got to Siem Reap and didn't know was also available in Phnom Penh. I was really keen but already worried about massively overspending in just this first week of my month in Cambodia, Peter having told me that it was $15 for the tuk-tuk and $50 at the shooting range. Eventually he persuaded me and as planned arrived to pick me up at 11am the next day, however I'd stayed up until 3am watching the original Halloween film for some reason and was knackered, so with this and also the money-saving aspect in mind I sort of hid from him in my hotel room, assuming he'd eventually leave. At 1:30pm, Bob knocked on my door and said "Peter is waiting". I was thinking 'wow, he's eager for his $15' but said "sorry, give me 30 minutes". With tips, paying for the coconuts to shoot at and two meals all added on top, the day cost about $100 in total but it was so worth it...

Figuring I'd need to withdraw cash again, we had to cross the six-lane highway to get to the ATM at the airport. Had I been alone this would have taken at least five minutes but, grabbing hold of my arm, Peter just walked out into the manic traffic. If you did this in England you'd expect a few car horns to go off at the very least, more likely death. But here the cars and bikes just stop as they expect it. That was my first adrenaline rush of the day.

I got to the army base and was greeted by the very stern faces of a few soldiers. Peter showed me the different types of guns they had lined up against a wall. The place was really dark and dingy and there were no other tourists there - combine these factors with the soldiers' glares and the abundance of loaded guns and I couldn't help but feel a bit on-edge. I tried to ask for a Fanta but they ignored me. The soldier who I assumed to be the most in-charge proceeded to put a menu out on the table and sit me down in front of it. I honestly thought it was so I could see what other drinks they had, or because Peter had perhaps mentioned in Cambodian that we were hungry; instead, this menu contained pages showing different guns and prices. I already had my mind set on an AK-47, which according to the menu came served with french fries and beans. $50 for 25 bullets. I was taken into another room and away from Peter, who at this point seemed like my guardian angel and I wasn't too keen on entering the shooting range with Sargeant Sternface. After all, he was holding a gun, I was holding my rucksack. He's trained to knock people dead, I'm trained to knock back cans of Fanta - if and when I can get hold of them. I fired a few single shots, which was incredible enough, before he set it to autofire and I let rip on those unsuspecting coconuts. 25 bullets didn't last even 25 seconds, so pro-rata that's at least $2 per second, but I really didn't care anymore. This was definitely the best thing I did in Phnom Penh. The soldier told me I'd hit all seven of the coconuts, even with my glasses on I was struggling to see so I walked all the way over to inspect them. They weren't all splattered to pieces but it seemed I had hit every one of them. There's something quite primitive about it, knowing you have the ability to hunt or kill - I was buzzing.

Firing an AK-47 in Phnom Penh

On the way back, Peter was very keen that I try "Cambodian soup" and stopped off in a cafe to order it. This turned out to be noodles (yep that's ok), some seasoning (yep great), raw beef (sorry what) and raw egg yolk (erm mate I don't want to die). Actually, it was really nice and, writing this two days later, it hasn't made me feel ill at all. In some ways, I enjoyed this just as much as the gun shooting. It was an authentic experience - sitting in a cafe that served real Cambodian food, alongside a friendly Cambodian dude. It's not something I would ever have tried otherwise, so it really enriched my experience.

Tucking into my worrying meal

Quite a few of the locals I met (Peter in particular) seemed to imply that they were not best pleased about the political situation in Cambodia right now. They complained about the strong and growing Chinese influence and immigration of Chinese people. I inferred that the leader is Chinese. I don't want to pass comment nor pretend I know anything about the situation, similarly I think they know to keep their opinions quiet - it was just something interesting that I picked up on because, nevertheless, they decided to mention these things to me - a tourist they had not known for long at all - so it must be quite a foreground important issue for them.

I don't want to create the impression that there are never any bouts of extreme boredom when travelling - especially when you stay in the same place for too long. Six nights in Phnom Penh was probably too many. One night I was so bored in the hotel that, when I alleviated my bladder, I picked up on the sound of the bathroom fan - the musical note of it I mean. Which I began to try and harmonise with. Which then sounded better and more monk-like when using the kettle. I'm not mental. I'm not mental. I'm not mental. For those interested, check out my chart-topping monk melodies in the video below.

So on to Kirirom national park. My two-hour coach at 12:30pm actually arrived at 3pm and took four hours. The coach and all the other passengers were headed to Sihanoukville, about twice the distance, so I was really worried the driver who didn't speak a word of English would forget to drop me off at Kirirom, or that he wasn't even aware I wanted him to. (Note: unlike in Indonesia, you definitely can't get away with smoking on public buses here. Bring patches.) It was fine though, I got off the bus and there was a motodop (motorbike taxi) there ready to take me up the hill to my accommodation.

KIRIROM NATIONAL PARK

Ok, so it's called a 'national park' - but this place is actually a jungle. A real jungle with dirty-big spiders. I'm not sure whether it was naiveity or plain stupidity that took me to this place without for a moment considering that snakes and spiders could maybe, just maybe, be living in a huge jungle. On the long, bumpy, bollock-crushing motorbike ride up to my accommodation (slap bang in the middle of the park), I'm sure I saw a snake on the side of the road. It was pitch black aside from the bike's headlight, so it could have just been a twig and my eyes tricking me - I don't discount this given that my eyes are, I've realised, terrible. I've needed glasses for long distance for many years but even close distances are now noticeably improved when I wear them. Maybe I will go again for the laser eye surgery when I get back to England and actually get my doctor to sign the forms in advance this time.

While I'd definitely recommend coming to this place for a couple of nights, again I'll mention price because if you want to avoid sleeping on a grotty mattress in a shared room and shitting into a hole then you're looking at $45 a night ('vKirirom' resort - pipe room). Even for that it's a shared outhouse shower and toilet.

However I've never had such a big breakfast, included in the price. Sausages, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, hash browns, two slices of bread (butter+jam), six cobs, an orange, apple, banana, some white fruit I've never seen before, plus a whole pot of tea. King of the jungle. That was the morning though. On the night I arrived it was creepy trying to navigate through the total darkness - I put on my headtorch (which definitely doesn't look nerdy at all by the way) but this only provided a narrow tunnel of light into the rows and rows of tall trees ahead of me - some real Slenderman vibes going on.

In effect I had just one full day here. I would have had time to go kayaking but the staff thought it was likely to rain and therefore wouldn't be good conditions (it didn't rain). But I did go to Otrosek waterfall (MUST-SEE). It was a two hour trek through the jungle and, with the assistance of a terrible map, I did eventually get to within 100 yards of it, but I just couldn't find it and had to ring the resort and ask them to send somebody out to show me. They took a car and were there within ten minutes. I'm really glad I rang them, firstly because I would never ever have found the very hidden trail on my own and secondly because the waterfall was amazing! I loved both the trek and the waterfall itself. Real adventure. Check genuine 'oh wow' reaction in the video below (NB: Lots of needless swearing. Not sure who left the ketchup sachet and bottle of piss on that rock there.)

SIHANOUKVILLE

Stayed over a night in Sihanoukville so I could get the boat to Koh Rong Samleon the next day. For the first time in my journey, I tried staying in a hostel. I'd been reluctant to do this after my fairly sleepless experience in an Amsterdam hostel back in June.

Sihanoukville looks like a huge construction site right now. I'm sure in the future it will therefore be a lot more appealing but for now most travellers only come here for a night so they can transfer to the islands. Continuing the trend, the hostel owner here was complaining to me about Chinese funded developments in the area, while I was complaining to myself after being awoken at 5:30am by snoring. You shouldn't be allowed in a hostel if you snore.

I think every hostel in Cambodia has resident cats

KOH RONG SANLEOM (ISLAND)

I arrived in such a sweat that some Australian dude running one of the bars on Saracen beach just gave me a glass of water for free. Again my eyesight was called into question when the girl I'd met in the Sihanoukville hostel came running up the beach towards me and waving - I didn't realise it was her until she was two metres in front of me. Thought it was some nutter.

I wanted to get an impression of how big Sanleom was, so I walked the longer of two beaten trails through the jungle to reach a beach on the other side:

Kayaking is amazing, but only when it's on calm or shallow water. Neither applied here. I had tried to rotate the boat such that it was going out to sea, but only managed to turn it facing sideways. This horizontallity was to literally be my downfall... The harsh waves continued to sway the kayak. I clearly remember that split second when I got an extremely close-up view of the water and wondered what was happening. Entering panic mode, my attempts to reboard the boat were futile - it had been difficult enough to get in when I was back on the shore - so with an inability to tred water my only hope was that I'd be just tall enough to touch ground with my tiptoes. Relief is not a strong enough word to describe my feelings at this point. But only now did I notice that my prescription sunglasses had fallen off - I figured any effort to find these would be wasted and that I just wanted to be out the water. I walked the kayak back to the shore, with the sea occasionally bashing it into my knees.

Saracen beach/bay - Koh Rong Sanleom

On the last of my three nights on Koh Rong Sanleom, I stayed in another hostel and this was actually totally fine as all the fella's in my dorm were sound and crucially no-one woke me up with snoring. Burt, a guy from Belgium, was particularly good to speak with and we talked for a couple of hours on the hammocks outside the dorm. He seemed very like-minded. We discussed music, before moving on to our disapproval concerning the possibility of humans being chipped in the future, by either their government or employer - noting how we wouldn't accept it, but as more and more people are born into a world where internet has always existed and you get a mobile phone when you're five, the idea of being chipped will seem to an eventual majority of people to be progressive or cool or at least totally fine and not at all invasive or a risk of reduction in freedoms. He said that some of the biggest companies in Belgium have already begun to chip their employees, which is scary but I didn't think to ask him as to the purpose - presumably for location tracking or something.

The beach I found on the west side of the south-east section of the island - where a local very kindly gave me a beer and I was extremely grateful

KAMPOT

(on route between the temple cave and pepper farm)

Taking a gamble on a same-day bus to Kampot being available, I got the boat back to Sihanoukville and indeed there was a booking desk right at the harbour, so with breakfast-a-calling I waited in a nearby restaurant on a table far too big for one person. As such an English family were later sat alongside me. Or rather, across the table from me - creating an interview type vibe. It was probably the best interview ever since I could eat hash browns and bacon throughout. Plus I didn't really even want the job. They'd just come from Kampot and said I'd like it.

Do not get a minibus anywhere in Cambodia. Most of the roads are dire and make for an uncomfortable ride unless you're on a coach. Combine this with the minibus being overcrowded, no aircon, no smoking for three hours and a fat Canadian dude irritatingly telling everyone for the fourth time that he used to live in Sihanoukville and you have pretty much entered hell-on-wheels.

(on route between the temple cave and pepper farm)

I reached Kampot without having booked any accommodation yet. I found quite a nice and affordable hotel, Good Morning Kampot ($15 a night private room), which was on the riverfront, before going out into the town to look at the night market and get something to eat. A sign up above read 'sports bar'. I climbed the stairs to find that it was a bar, as stated; but didn't have any sports on, as not stated. Treated myself to bruschetta and a steak before asking the girl behind the bar for a cocktail. I'd caught her looking at me from across the room a couple of times already and we got talking - she was actually from Laos and was so confident she could beat me at pool that she bet a free pint on it, which I duly accepted (and drunk). After the very few other customers had left she asked if I wanted to go for drinks with her and drove us on her bike to a bar not far from my hotel. She introduced me to all her friends and I got playing pool against a different girl. One who, in hindsight, was quite clearly hired by the bar to talk to guys and keep them buying drinks. And I realise on reflection that the girl from the sports place was likely in cahoots with this bar. However, in spite of knowing all this, I still think the girl playing pool did genuinely like me and doesn't usually go back with customers. If she does and that's her job, I assume she'd be more efficient and not want three nights of build-up. Plus there are lots of other complicating and assuring facets that for the sake of brevity need not be explained - intuitively I can tell there was a connection, it's just impossible now to find out for sure what she actually thought, so for my ego's sake, lets say she absolutely adored "Mr Spicey".

Ask a tuk-tuk driver to take you to the 'temple cave'. It's amazing. The temple part is actually a bit underwhelming, it's not really a temple, yet still pretty cool to see these kind of ornaments in the entrance to a cave. It's when the ten-year-old tour guides ask if you want to go through the cave and reach another exit that you begin to realise why this is a decent place to visit. And that you might die. I was expecting just a nice, easy path through the cave, maybe having to duck every now and then but nothing too much. Instead, this is almost like proper rock climbing, but in the dark with no safety equipment. Loads of ascents and descents with varying inclines/heights and plenty of gaps you definitely want to avoid. At one point there was a drop that looked around twenty feet (they say don't look down, but I did), with these kids expecting me to easily swing my leg round and rest in tiny footholes. It's not like one slip and I'm plunging to my death. It's not like I'm so terrified right now that my legs are trembling thus making this task even more challenging. It's not like I'm relying on the light off your torches and you switched them off earlier as a joke and I thought you were going to rob me. It's not like out-the-blue you asked me if I like spiders and when I passionately claimed otherwise you didn't say where they were and they could be in this very spot right now...

Inside the temple cave - legs trembling

But then you reach the end and it's an amazing feeling. Lara Croft mode complete. I was buzzing to come out the other side, not just because I was safe but it was actually a really good experience that only retrospectively puts a big smile on your face. You're expected to pay a dollar to each of the kids but I thought, to be fair, they've just climbed through this madness too and really helped me, so I gave $10. Not sure if that's good or bad, perhaps I'm further encouraging them to be doing this when I'd not exactly class it as safe, but they did it easily and I guess to them this is their equivalent of a playground. They might be equally as cautious as I was if they were to come to England and have a go on the swings, say.

Cave conquered

The same tuk-tuk driver then took me to the relatively nearby pepper farm. Apparently, Kampot pepper is famous all over the world and known for being the best. The locals are surprised if you haven't heard of it... I of course had not heard of it. I'm not so obsessively into pepper nor any other ingredients that I check for the best origin. Necking salt out the shaker because I got it from the f*kin north pole... Anyway, I really was expected to be more of a connoisseur when the free tasting session begun. It all very much tasted like pepper. It all very much left me needing a drink. The Brazilian girl doing the tour had something a bit intoxicating about her - I chatted to Tina for quite a while after the other visitors left. She explained how, like me, she'd shown up just one week ago to look round as a tourist, but liked it so much that she's now volunteering. Fair play to her, I thought she'd been there years, she really knew her stuff when taking us round the farm and explaining the processes. I don't know, maybe she's as in to pepper as the rest of Kampot was expecting me to be.

A dog watches the sun set over La Plantation (Kampot Pepper Farm)

I'd seen online that Popokvil waterfall up in the nearby mountains/national park looked really nice and it didn't disappoint. My driver actually came down to look at it with me, a blessing because I'd have really struggled to get down the rocks to the bottom without his help, plus he encouraged me to take off my shoes and walk around in the water which made it a much better experience. He also took me to a giant statue and a really old Buddhist church up in the mountains.

The only activity I'd planned and was aware of before getting to Kampot was to go kayaking, albeit this time on much calmer water. Admittedly the first section of the route was over a depth of 17ft, so I was really nervous about falling in, but I quickly reached a narrow and shallow stretch that took an hour to loop back round. I loved it. A real sense of freedom that had me remembering very clearly why I'd decided to travel. Later I also tried a couple of Belgian beers back at the bar where you launch from (Champa Lodge). It was probably inevitable that I'd see a free roaming snake at some point and it happened here, on my way up to the bar before going kayaking. Apparently there's loads because the rats have laid eggs and the snakes love them. Fortunately I saw just one, it lay in the middle of the path and had me frozen stiff, before it sort of twisted itself up and away to the side into a bush. Not really sure how I didn't have a panic attack.

PHNOM PENH (Again) + BATTAMBANG (Pronounced 'Battambong')

As I eluded to earlier, it was actually the third night of seeing this Kampot girl that led to me being kept awake all night, meaning I got the 7:30am train back to Phnom Penh on no sleep (note: seems there's no direct route from Kampot to Battambang). After managing to stay awake at the station, I got on the train and saw that same English family from back at the Sihanoukville harbour/restaurant - I explained to the mum that I'd not slept and had really hoped the trains here wouldn't be slower than the buses (note: they are). Ten hours later and I was back where I'd started my Cambodia route, which was great because I could now meet up with my mate Alex. He was also solo traveling albeit for only three months and had been working south through Thailand and Cambodia, while my reverse route allowed us to cross paths in Phnom Penh. We arranged to meet at 8:30pm and I set my alarm to get an hour of well-needed sleep. The next thing I know it's 4:30am and I'm texting Alex to apologise. He's a chill dude and wasn't arsey, even though he'd be within rights, so we met the next day and went for a bit of a wander. Even though I'd spent six nights in this city already, I hadn't yet laid my eyes on the independence monument, nor reddened my eyes with a 'happy pizza' - both were accomplished. I've never spent any time with Alex one-to-one before and we had some really deep and interesting conversations (we were discussing the Cambodian genocide within literally just ten minutes of meeting up; as well as politics, Buddhism, enlightenment, school, uni, music, future, paradigms, etc.). It was really good to see a familiar face and a shame we were travelling in opposite directions.

The coach to Battambang took about 7 hours, but with maybe three or four stops so I could just get through it in terms of my nicotine addiction. Indonesia was much more smoker-friendly in general. I think non-smokers have absolutely no idea what it's like to be hooked on 30+ a day - imagine if life was such that you desperately needed to eat once every thirty minutes, yet you're constantly restricted as to where and when you are and aren't allowed to eat. I imagine a non-smoker would think this an unfair comparison, but I would assure them it isn't. Yes, unlike eating food, smoking is not necessary and of course actually detrimental to survival, plus it harms those around you, but when you smoke as much as I do it really does feel even more necessary than food.

This statue of "the black man" in Battambang is something to do with Cambodia's independence, according to my driver.

I was expecting to need seven days in Battambang, because this is how long it takes to get prescription glasses or sunglasses in England. A pleasant surprise when the optician here said he could sort my replacement sunglasses in just one day. I had a really difficult time choosing the frames - their wide range extended to just shy of two options. The only downside is it means I could have travelled round some of the eastern towns and seen more of Cambodia before my visa ran out, had I not been expecting to need so much time in Battambang.

You should get to the 'bat cave' by 5pm to see ~~Batman~~ millions of bats fly out during dusk. An estimated 13 million fly out from the cave each evening to go hunting for food. Locals call it 'the snake in the sky'. There's also the 'killing cave' nearby as well as a temple, but it seems you need to go earlier in the day to see these too. Apparently the killing cave contains the skulls and bones of more Khmer Rouge victims.

I'd heard the bamboo train might no longer be in operation, but actually there are two - a newer version alongside a temple, as well as the older version in a different part of the town. I went to the original for a more authentic experience. You just go up the straight track in one direction, stop at off some stalls that want to flog t-shirts and bracelets to you, then go back. The appeal is that the train is low to the ground, cheaply made and you just sit on top like a sledge; but I got over this within a few minutes and certainly spent longer being worried about the fact that the driver had stopped half way, picked up a snake off the track and put it in a bag near me. Pretty sure it had been run over but I'm just not a fan of my rapid exposure increase to the slithery beasts.

Next stop was the 'ancient house'. Billed online as an opportunity to see a traditional Khmer home, I had expected it to be more ancient. I'm not sure if the millenia old temples I've seen have skewed my perspective, but this house was built in 1920. Fairly sure my parents house is older. Misleading name or not, this is a free entry activity, plus there was a really old guitar type instrument with two strings and a curved-back headstock which was worth discovering.

I went to 'Phare Ponleu Selpak' in the evening to watch a circus-come-dance-come-theatre show. Strictly Come Circus. The live music was really good and some of the acrobatics were ridiculous - standing up high on wobbling objects with balancing skills beyond my comprehension, for example.

On my last day in Battambang, I visited 'crocodile farm' and Wat Ek Phnom temple. At the latter, there was a really ancient looking temple towards the back of the site, which I think was the main attraction, but stupidly I ignored it and only went inside the much more modern temple at the front.

SIEM REAP

At the centre point inside Angkor Wat

The coach took me way beyond the hostel in Siem Reap so I had to get off and allow a very confused motorbike driver to take me on a long tour of seemingly every other hostel bar mine. I tried to guide him but he didn't understand 'left' and 'right'. When I got to the dorm, I met a Spanish dude (also called Alex) who invited me to go to the floating village the next morning, with him and another Spanish guy he knew. I'd planned to go here anyway and figured it would be much better to go with people rather than alone...

Having accumulated some high quality photo's on my journey so far, I decided to download Tinder just before leaving Battambang and try my luck. So on that first night in Siem Reap, I arranged to meet a Khmer girl in a bar the next evening, but she was offering only super short text replies and, after waking up the next morning, I found myself contemplating whether it might be quite awkward - I had nothing to riff off, except her picture with a couple of dogs shown in it, plus there's the language barrier to consider.

9:00am - Alex makes sure I'm actually out of bed

9:30am - I join the Spanish duo in their tuk-tuk and we're driven to the floating village

10:00am - Arrive at the floating village to discover that a two-hour ticket would be $30 each. Having woken up early especially and gone thirty minutes away from the hostel, I would have just paid it - but these guys were proper low-budget backpackers and said outright they couldn't afford it. They decided to use their existing Angkor passes to go see more temples, giving me three seconds to decide what I was doing. I went back to the hostel in the hope of getting some sleep, something I craved due to the previous night's snore-fest.

10:30am - Last opportunity for a cigarette before bed so I duly grab the Marlboro's from my pocket. Also sitting outside the hostel was a girl who I initially assumed to be one of the staff, but we got chatting and she was actually on a three day holiday in Siem Reap. In true Asian girl style, she was quite insistent on the idea of filming me on her phone, albeit while asking surprisingly deep questions - things like, 'what makes a good friend'. I think I offered some reasonably good answers. Erin and I spoke for about 45 minutes and she invited me to go to Lotus Farm with her later that afternoon - a place she'd planned to see but I hadn't even heard of.

After my nap, I got all my things together and made my way across the street towards a hotel I'd booked the night before, even in spite of having already paid for another night in the hostel. The hotel was in preparation for meeting the girl off Tinder and, in any case, was likely to offer a better night's sleep.

As arranged, I met Erin and got in a tuk-tuk. She'd told me in the morning that she was Muslim and from Malaysia, but it was now I discovered that she'd been getting around the city in the same tuk-tuk the whole time because she wanted to always have a driver who too was Malaysian/Muslim. This bore relevance in the sense that, after very predictably being asked by Erin to take 76 pictures of her at Lotus Farm, she told me that this driver also owned a Muslim restaurant and she wanted me to try their food. She got me a far too spicy soup but was kind enough to swap for the noodles she'd ordered. I'd not yet even considered that, usually, a Muslim girl would be wearing one of those scarf things all round her and it was during this meal she pretty much explained how she was a "bad lady" but that their religion dictates she can't be judged.

One day, I might finally learn how to pose in a way that isn't totally awkward. (Lotus Farm, Siem Reap)

We went on to the night-market in and around Pub Street, with Erin demonstrating incredible negotiation skills like getting an item marked $8 for just $2. It's probably a more natural part of her culture. Obviously I was keen to get a few drinks flowing, which is not a natural part of her culture and she really struggled to keep up with what I'd consider to be a slow pace. We were getting on well and at 9pm I faced the dilemma of either ditching her to go and meet the girl off Tinder, with whom I might not get on at all, or continuing with Erin who might yet be too religious to put out so soon. I thought the decision to stay with her hadn't paid off when I eventually got back to the hotel alone, but somehow I ended up going back out to meet her for a foot massage... She'd been complaining several times throughout the day about how the hostel was dirty and making her feel unwell, so clutching at straws I asked if she might like to "sleep" in my hotel instead... Anyway, writing this a few days later, she's now keen on me going to find her in Malaysia in a few months after I've been to Thailand, Philippines and Vietnam.

[I've gotten really into Delta Sleep while I've been in Cambodia. "Single File" is such a tune.]

I transfered to a different hotel (Aniza Angkor Villa), away from the Pub Street area because it was just so loud and the noise goes on until around 6am. The owner was incredibly friendly and, for example, sewed a button back onto my shorts for me after it broke off. I stayed up until 2am again because I really wanted to watch the Manchester derby in a sports bar, meaning the knock on my door at 8am was far from ideal - I'd arranged a full day of temples, shooting and snooker with the driver who took me to the hotel and he didn't seem too pleased that I'd kept him waiting an extra hour. I saw Angkor Wat and paid for a tour guide (when you first lay eyes on it you'll be gobsmacked but the tour itself isn't so interesting), before moving on to Bayon temple.

Angkor what?

I was looking forward to seeing Ta Prohm, a temple complex that looked the most aesthetically interesting and is also I believe where they filmed parts of Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom. This is the first time I actually fully enjoyed visiting a temple and it's definitely recommended. But be aware that, to see any temples at all, you first need to get an Angkor pass which is a hellishly expensive $37 per day, plus you'll need a tuk-tuk and food and drinks and you'll buy souvenirs and pay for guides etc so it's not a cheap activity. It's worthwhile just for Ta Prohm, though.

...I mean, look at that. Ta Prohm was awesome.

At the Siem Reap army base I thought it was better to try shooting a different gun this time and fired 15 bullets from an M16 with surprisingly good accuracy - the bloke there seemed genuinely impressed when he and I looked at my target sheet afterwards to see where the bullets had gone through.

I spent the last few nights moving between different hostels back in the Pub Street area and just chilling, trying to save money - I'll once again emphasise that Cambodia is nowhere near as cheap as you might expect. Surprisingly, my favourite place by far was Kampot; I loved the kayaking, the waterfall and, retrospectively, the cave temple; as well as the overall chilled out vibe. I think Alex's encouragement to stay in more hostels certainly improved my experience in Cambodia, as I spoke to more travellers and felt less isolated, though I therefore consider it unfair to draw too many comparisons with my experience in Indonesia. One of the big advantages of travelling around Cambodia is its relatively small size; you could easily visit lots of towns in all four corners of the country within a month, I guess I just like to take it slow (and avoid lugging my bags between places if possible). I really enjoyed most of my time here and can't think of anything I particularly regret - not that there would be much point in regretting anything anyway. I'm not sure I'd recommend Battambang, but I would definitely go to Kampot again.

~ MM